Homecomming

I've found myself lately being lost in the space of known, forgotten and unforgettable... Somewhere in between the incredible amount of emotions of all kind. Everything seemed to be too much, yet something - not enaugh.. The kind of reality created by me- for myself.
So much willing to protect myself from the possibility of crashing down I haven't been really able to fly. To notice and enjoy..
Last week reading my diary which I used to write being in Asia I found a quotation from somewhere which says: "You carry in your heart a happiness, that nothing from outside of you can put there and nothing can take away!" and it had a power to hit me quite strongly. So easy is to fall back to the same reality I have lived before even after one year of Asia and 9 month of AfL. I am still learning to see what I have always had and not to run around the World to return and discover, that it has always been here...

My time has been too stresful with working and being busy, not allowing myself just to do nothing, but there always comes a moment, which shows you clearly when you need to stop.
This time reminded me again how amazing friends I have and how wonderful is the World around me, if I only allow it to be wonderful:)
I spent just a moment of Nothingness outside all the inhabited places to find again the joy and fulfillment of life understanding again and again, that everything starts from our mind. In life everything is simple. . The starry nights on the riverside, bonfire, sleeping in tent and staying warm, laughing all night long. Playing guitar and singing the songs from my childhood... Having cake with candles and only forest around...

Life is full of joy!


The beautiful photos in black and white by Valdis.

What is this all about?

I love what John Lenon has said: "Life is what happens while people are making other plans". So this explains exactly where I have been at during the last year and now. Life is going on.

Life.
Goes.
On.

I have returned back to Europe and this is my home now for already a bit more than one month. During this time I have had an amazing opportunity to survive from some kind of special souvenir-disease which I took with me back home from India and which brought me to hospital straight from the Riga airport and kept me there for quite a while. I feel quite OK now, although I am still continuing to visit doctors to understand what has happened and is happening with me. Not too funny.

I have seen a bit of Latvian beautiful autumn and even already snow. I am still freezing here a bit after spending one year in incredible heat, but I am slowly starting to acclimatize. Every morning I am waking up and thinking to myself: how wonderful is to be home... I really enjoy every moment and every little thing and vibe from here. No place in the whole World can be better than the place of your home..

It is not as hard, this "being back", as I expected it to be, but sometimes I wonder what this "being back" is all about?

I miss India a lot. Almost as much as I have been missing my home during this year and during those five years I have spent in Estonia. I have always longed to be back home and to settle down here, but right now I feel, like I have lost something... The feeling of "not knowing where I belong to".